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Boredom Rambling and Trying to find a Balance.

Thu Apr 16, 2009, 12:51 PM
  • Mood: Bemused
  • Listening to: Songbird!!!
  • Reading: The Power of Less by Leo Babuatta of Zen Habits
  • Watching: Myself try to learn keyboard lol
  • Playing: FF7 on my Cellphone!!!!
  • Eating: Healthy lol
  • Drinking: Tea!!!
Well after just having hit enter without actually posting anything it seems that would be another thing that has mildly entertained me today. Everything seems so drab and dreary as of late, I can't really put my finger on it, everyone else is really happy and what not, enjoying their lifes and all that and unfortunately I feel myself once again slipping towards that depression mode. Not sure what sets it off, but I really just wish some people would leave me alone, not alot of people just some people, cause theres just some that just build up and up and up and I want to explode on, but I don't, cause Im far too nice for that, and because that doesnt solve anything really. Other then all the emotional what not, life is pretty good, been picking up on my running again, I seem to justify not running with the amount of biking I do, and the fact that Im on my feet all night at work, come summer I won't even have time to do a journal entry most likely, and everyone will want to hang out and go out to the bar, where as I feel that I should just come home and relax and rest, and that will send warning signs off for people that theres something wrong. Which there isn't not yet anyways. A friend offered to buy my Xbox 360 and I think I might actually take him up on the offer since, well, I don't play it and I really want to have money for the PSP 2 that could possibly be coming out this fall, and yea that would be awesome if it did, I'd be all over that shit lol. Ive started my own little black book here not online, my moleskin is getting filled up night after night, which is good cause I have so much stuff that goes through my head its nice to get it all out so that Im not thinking about it so much, if you couldnt tell this is me simply rambling on trying to waste some time because I don't really want to clean my room, even though its not even that dirty lol. Oh shoot laundry shit, brb lol.
Anyways a while ago, I figured out that I was secular, if you need the definition look it up on Wikipedia, under Secularism. And I've also come to the conclusion that I am actually A-sexual, meaning I don't really care for sex, or relationship for that matter, making me Aromantic Asexual. Which is quite comforting to know that there are in fact a lot more people like that then I originally had thought, so that its not something I feel that I need to hide away from everyone around me, I DON"T CARE FOR SEX OR RELATIONSHIPS. Phew that feels good. lol I just enjoy company with others, but hate the idea of placing so much emphasis on one person, caring for someone such as a friend immensely is one thing, where as placing someone as the one that makes you complete seems something rather dimwitted if you ask me, but thats me, always logical never reasonable. So thats about it, oh and Im trying to find a balance between too much and not enough and right now I feel I have too much of not enough lol I just need to get rid of a few more things, downsize and I feel that Ill be good to go, after all the less things you have the less things you need to worry about right?

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